Overcoming the Fear to Practice: A Mental Shift For Improving Your English Communication
It's natural to be afraid of failure and rejection, but it's important to remember that failure is a necessary part of the learning process. When you're afraid to try new things, get rejected, or encounter discomfort, it can prevent you from taking risks and reaching your full potential. However, when you're comfortable with the idea of failing, you're more likely to take risks, try new things, and learn from your mistakes.
When you think about one’s mindset and approach to a problem, you start to see the ripple down effects and implications on one’s entire demeanour, perspective, and thought-process on a problem.
If I approach building a company with the sole purpose of maximizing profits, the way I carry myself and make decisions regarding the company will greatly differ from a company where the sole purpose is to design great products. The approach towards short-term and long-term planning and investment in the future changes.
This mindset also applies to our skill development and approach to learning.
Similar to how if you cram for an exam the day before, you aren’t truly appreciating, integrating or assimilating that knowledge, 5 months later you can consider that information forgotten.
So, when learning how to pronounce words, change your articulation, or modify the sentence stress patterns you use, would it be realistic to think that after working for 1 hour a week with a consultant or teacher, that you would suddenly apply ti like a native English speaker every time?
Absolutely not.
The trouble is that it is extremely challenging to change one’s mindset from one to the other.
When transitioning from one mindset to another, you have to have a perspective shift, a different lens to see the world and how you engage with it.
When applying this to English language learning, it requires you to be vulnerable and actually use your skills in practice.
Imagine wanting to learn a skateboard trick or snowboard trick on a rail. The only way to do so, is to jump on that rail over and over again until you can do it successfully and consistently. Over and over and over again.
In that same vein, when practicing English, you have to use your newfound skills over and over and over again. You need to seek opportunities to use it with friends, with coworkers, with family, with strangers, over and and over and over again. You need to be vulnerable and display that aspect of yourself you are trying to grow and develop over and over again.
And if you feel self-conscious of your English accent or English communication skills, you need to continue to use those skills and put them on display via your communication with English speakers over and over to make those improvements.
It becomes a matter of whether you buy-in to the change in mindset and whether you can commit to this shift in mindset. If you lie to yourself and say you believe, but don’t actually believe, then of course it becomes an unsurmountable obstacle. Because your mind truly believes it.
With the correct mindset, you truly can believe you can overcome the obstacle and sometimes that self-belief can be the unlock. That self-belief that there isn’t anything to be embarrassed about. The self-belief that your English communication skills are already great and you continue to improve. The self-belief that your English accent is a badge of honour, that you are growing and developing as a person still and you are willing to pick up another language.
Understanding the power of your thoughts
What I mean to say is that the power of your thoughts are critical to this process.
One of the biggest benefits of getting comfortable with failure is that it allows you to take on new challenges without being paralyzed by fear. When you're not afraid to fail, you're more likely to try new things and push yourself to do your best. This can lead to personal and professional growth, as well as a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
One of the first steps in overcoming the fear of social judgment is to understand that it is normal to make mistakes when learning a new language. No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, including native speakers. Instead of focusing on the mistakes you make, focus on the progress you are making and the progress you will continue to make.
Depending on your perspective of your reality, you can see the same situation differently.
If you are anxious about speaking English to native English speakers, what are you anxious or stressed about?
Are you afraid they will judge you?
Are you afraid they will notice you don’t speak with a native English speaker?
Are you worried that that realization will cause them to judge or look at you differently?
Now consider the difference in thoughts that someone looking at communication with English speakers as an opportunity.
Will this be an opportunity to see how much mhy Englsih communication has improved?
Will this be an opportunity to practice my English skills in a real-world situation?
Will I get immediate real time feedback about how clear my English communication is?
Negativity Clouds Your Mind
Having negative thoughts about the whole experience of interacting with native speakers can exacerbate or amplify the stress and anxiousness you feel towards communication. If you are paralyzed by the concerns of failure, judgment, prejudice, and communication failures, then you will so preoccupied by the possible negatives that you won’t open yourself up to the positives.
And I am not naive enough to think those negative thoughts aren’t 100% realistic or grounded in some sort of truth.
The issue is that your concerns and anxiousness surrounding them isn’t beneficial to you, nor within your control. If your communication partner has those judgments and prejudices, that is something that you cannot control and shouldn’t be a barrier to your growth because it speakers more towards their character and their own growth journey.
It can also be helpful to remind yourself that the people you are speaking with are not judging you, but rather trying to understand you. Most people are more interested in what you have to say than in the mistakes you make. They will appreciate your effort and willingness to communicate with them.
Tips for identifying and challenging negative thoughts
If you are feeling paralyzed, build moments for quick success and positive reinforcement.
All you need is one victory moment. One moment to remind you of your growth to date.
Whether that’s a simple phrase you learned or practiced or became better at speaking.
Even if it’s a “Good Morning” or a new English phrase or idiom you learned like “Sup?”.
A quick victory to celebrate your growth is a momentum builder. Have clear objective goals for attempts.
The main thing you need to do is have intentional practice. The best way to have reliable and persistent growth is to see it as a numbers game.
I need to use my practice words with 10 people a day.
By having the goal be a numbers game with attempts, then the focus is on you making the attempt. Who cares about how clear or the exact pronunciation. The first step is doing the repetitions.
Obviously, better form or better pronunciation is best. BUT, if that is too overwhelming at first, just focus on the repetitions. For example, doing 10 poor-form pushups as a beginning step is better than doing no push ups. Obviously, 10 good form pushups are best, but 10 poor form pushups will still develop your strength and confidence to start and as you continue to grow and learn, you can fine-tune your form.
The main thing would be the growth mindset shift towards seeking opportunities to use your English communication instead of shying away from English interactions or avoiding English communication because it feels overwhelming.
Seeking support and accountability
Another important step is to practice speaking English in a safe and supportive environment. Joining an English conversation group or finding a language partner can be a great way to practice speaking without fear of judgment. It can also help to find a teacher or tutor who is supportive and understanding of your struggles.
Finding an English practice buddy is similar to finding a gym buddy in building social accountability to keep you accountable and motivated. Knowing that you have a set time and person to practice with will make it less likely for you to cancel or skip a practice session. They will be counting on you to show up for your scheduled practice.
A language practice partner can provide you with different perspectives and ways of looking at the language you are learning. They can also help you to understand colloquialism and informal expressions that might not be covered in a classroom setting.
Finally, learning a new language can be fun, but it can also be challenging. Having a language practice partner can make the process more enjoyable.
Another consideration is to reframe the way you think about practice sessions. Instead of thinking about it as a negative thing, or high stakes pressure situation, think about it as an opportunity for feedback. Feedback can be a valuable tool for improvement and growth.
