Conversational Threading - A Way To Connect With Communication
Vinh Giang talks about this concept of conversational threading, a way to helpfully support engaging and extended communication. And it highlights an understanding that communication and ‘good’ communication is far more complex and nuanced than simply pronouncing the words correctly (And I say ‘correctly’, because it’s relative to your local region and your accent).
Vinh Giang’s speaking events are to native English speakers. So clearly the skill is not guaranteed or innately learned by native English speakers.
Understanding the nuances of conversation threading goes beyond the realm of clear speech. It’s applicable to native English speakers and non-native speakers alike.
The Problem.
Awkward conversations. Conversations that die out and end in silence.
Sometimes, conversations just don’t pan out. There’s nothing common between you two to continue.
But why is that?
There’s gotta be something there that you can connect over.
The Solution
Conversational threading lets you present multiple avenues for connection. Vinh discusses the idea of presenting main themes and ideas in a communicated answer and by framing your answer in such a way, you can present avenues for future talking points.
You can plan for these moments.
There are things you can do in advance to help you prepare for these situations.
Vinh uses the example question of “Where are you from?”. Brainstorm your own answer to that question right now. Figure out a few conversational threads and edit your response into a cohesive and concise answer back.
Other common questions can include:
How did you get into this field?
Where do you see yourself going from here?
Preparation, as Vinh Giang suggests, is key. Anticipating and formulating responses to these questions in advance can turn a potentially stumbling block into a smooth conversational flow. Take 'Where are you from?' for instance; preparing both the physical location and the intention behind the move can transform a simple question into a rich exchange. For example, 'I'm originally from Toronto but moved to Vancouver after graduating for new opportunities and a change of scenery.'
What can you do to make conversation an easy layup for others?
These are the types of meta-communication thoughts that we need to work on as conversationalists.
You aren’t trying to out-communicate your conversation partner but instead, trying to synergize with them, to clearly have a connection.
Sometimes non-native English communicators are so worried or concerned with making sure their own message gets across successfully, that the overall success of the interaction and communication with the other person gets lost.
That focus on yourself and how you are doing is good for introspective review of your own short-comings and ways to improve your speech, but conversation is more than your speech, it is about the interaction you have with other people.
A conversation’s success is dependent on not just you, but the other people. Shifting to this type of thinking is imperative in fostering genuine connections.
No one at the end of the day cares about how well they spoke during networking events. They care about all the new, genuine, and interesting connections and people they meet.
Working on your conversational threading can facilitate that.
