Giving Up One Cultural Identity For Another

Moving to a new country can have a profound impact on an individual's cultural identity, beyond the language learning, the assimilation in the culture and the whole rebuilding your life in a foreign place.

Now, I’ll preface this with a disclaimer that my perspective is as a second-generation immigrant. I didn’t have to manage the language learning, accent learning, and culture shock. But I think my perspective as not quite fitting in in either camp - fully Chinese or fully Canadian still had a lasting impression on who I am today and the way I see the world.

Furthermore, I think it’s a dynamic that first-generation immigrants need to be realize and recognize, particularly if they are starting a new family or hoping to start a new family with second-generation children.

Cultural Identity in Transition:

Cultural identity is that sense of belonging from our family's background, traditions, values, and experiences. It's what ties us to a community and gives us a sense of belonging. When you move to a new country, although this gives you the opportunity to establish new traditions, exercise new values and bring about new opportunities and experiences, it also in some ways cuts you off from and separates you from old traditions and backgrounds. By the nature of a new physical location, you may not have the same access to extended family, you may not have the same access to traditional culturally-relevant celebrations, responsibilities, and events. And I think it can vastly differentiate your cultural upbringing to those one or two generations before you.

Navigating Language and Communication:

One of the most significant aspects of this cultural transition is language. Learning English or the dominant language of the new country is a necessity for effective communication. But the shift in priority to learning English as the dominant language comes at the cost of potentially losing out on your parents’ native language or your grandparents’ native language. This balance can be particularly challenging, and it can ultimately isolate you (as a first or second-generation immigrant) from your parents or grandparents. You may not fully understand, communicate, or know them fully as people.

First-Generation and Second-Generation Challenges:

First- and Second-generation immigrants, like me, find themselves at the crossroads of two worlds. We are expected to carry on our cultural heritage while adapting to the norms and expectations of our new homes, grappling with the cultural adages that our parents proclaim with the cultural norms of our new homes. This can be a complex and demanding process. In my case, growing up as a second-generation Chinese Canadian, I often clashed between my family's values and the values of my new environment because they differed.

Whether that was the types of lunches in elementary school (I wanted Lunchables, not homemade fried rice) to extracurriculars on Saturdays (I wanted to relax and watch Saturday cartoons, not go to math and Chinese class), I felt that things were always just a bit off or different.

Parent-Child Relationships:

Perhaps one of the most significant challenges is the strain this balancing act can place on relationships, especially between parents and children. Our parents immigrate with dreams and hopes for a better life, knowing that things will be different in the new country. Yet, what's often less acknowledged is the potential divide this decision can create within the family.

Now, I don’t want to make it sound like moving to a new country drives a wedge between you and your parents or you and your children, but I do think it’s important to recognize that the upbringing will inevitably be different and therefore the perspective will be different because the lens with which you see situations is different.

I remember being told not to question things and to respect authority as it was ingrained in my parents' experiences. They believed there is a hierarchy of parent and child, a level of respect and discipline, and a filial piety. I think in North America, there is a stronger focus on individuality, autonomy, critical thinking and inquisitiveness that can trump or outweigh some of those thoughts. So naturally, I would push those buttons, and I think that would sometimes insert tension into those relationships, simply because some of those cultural values that they felt so strongly about didn’t necessarily translate as strongly for me.

A Changing Cultural Landscape:

By emigrating away from your cultural home, you, your parents, and your children undergo profound changes. The experiences, foods, and traditions you once cherished may be different or even absent in your new environment. The experiences, foods, traditions and values. you parents cherish and value may be different or valued less in your new environment.

To some degree, there is a sacrifice of a shared cultural identity for the other opportunities that moving provides - whether they be financial, educational, or lifestyle.

Many people are able to negotiate these cultural differences and supplement what they lack in community cultural events with family cultural events. Weekend Chinese classes are still a thing and work well for many children and adults! It’s all a process of striking a balance between your native and new cultural identities or your native and your parents native cultural identity. While it may come with its challenges and moments of tension, it can also be a path to personal growth and the creation of a unique, multicultural identity.

The key lies in open communication, awareness, empathy, patience and the willingness to foster and celebrate that diversity.